| So here I am. It's 2:20. I'm awake. Not by choice. Or because the fact that I've been up this long. No not either of these dilemas that might occur to some. I'm awake because at 9pm I felt tired. Taking advantage of this rare occasion I decided to sleep. And I did. Well I don't even know if it's fair to call it sleep. I'm not even sure if it's correct to even assume that I know what sleep is. I woke up about 6 times. I have experienced broken dreams of only God knows. And here I am awake. I'm not sure I even feel like I slept at all. I presume I maybe napped? if I only knew what real sleep was like I could have something to compare whatever I'm experiencing to that phenomenon that so many people seem to enjoy.
Furthermore on this issue I seem to have. I think it's rather rude that people I know seem to think it's not a big deal. I should just "go to bed earlier" or "get in a routine". These are all people who have known what real sleep is. They don't have this curse that haunts them every night before it's presumed time to sleep. If only people would try the good old saying of trying to put yourself in someone elses shoes you would realize that this in fact IS I big deal.
I suppose this just needed to be documented somewhere somehow. And seeing as I have not blogged in ages. I felt it to be quite necessary.
On a small note. I'm reading The Shack. So far it's a pretty amazing read. I'm over halfway through. I would rcommend it to anyone who has an interest or love for God or Yahweh. Anyone else might just not like it.
Goodnight/Good morning friends |
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| Sometimes others will try and tear us down
They will take whatever they wish
Anything to leave us thinking we have nothing left
But we have something left
Others who plot again us can never take away our memories
Those memories burned into our mind
The journey getting to those memories, The memories themselves,
And the future that takes place after those memories
You can take materialistic things from us
But you can never take away whats inside of us
Whether it be inside your mind
Or inside your heart
Those are stored,
Sealed,
Locked,
Protected.
Much like the ribcage protects the heart
So to withstand such a thrust or blow
It wouldn't do anything but maybe break the shell
Yet the prize inside remains untouched, pure.
And just like memories
We have friends
Willing to stand by our side no matter what the situation
No matter how hard we fall they are there to catch us
There might be few that will do such things.
But all the better to have few good ones.
Than a million ones that are not.
And those are to be cherished.
This is for all the people that have lost something that they put a whole lot into
This is for all those who have lost something they might never get back
This is for all the beautiful ones who take what is thrown at them with humility.
And most of all... This is for You. |
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| I'm currently reading the Screwtape Letters.
I must say it's a nice insight on what I might be up against.
What we all are up against.
Interesting though how it can be told so well from our point of view..
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| I do not deserve what I sincerely pray for.
Nor do I think it should be given to me.
But I ask anyway because I am given that right.
The right to love with my own freewill.
Bye, Bye, Black Bird.
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| I know for a fact, two people.
Girls, let's clarify.
That have a relationship with Christ.
But have not once revealed any kind of hardship in their life.
Besides maybe... bad grades or boyfriend problems.
Everyday, I feel the demons on my back attempting to take me to their side of the war.
And they dream of using my spiritual gifts for evil instead of good.
In certain moments of darkness, I fall to their sinful temptations.
They get a taste of my inherited power from the Almighty and they thrive for more of it.
Every progression closer to good I struggle increasingly to fight them off.
But my side has been chosen.
And no matter how often I fall.
Or how hard, or how far.
My eyes are set on the prize.
And I refuse to surrender myself to evil.
That is what makes me a believer.
And to better illustrate this feeling
St. Anthony would like to pose for us...
Artist: Martin Schongauer
Title: St. Anthony Tormented by the Demons
Date: c. 1480-1490
Ps. Thank you for reading. I hope it be an encouragement.
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